Jaron: You are the man.
Bigfoot: Jaron, my son, when are you coming home to visit?
Nat Geo: A startling revelation!
Snewt: Oh no I dint!
Jaron: You are the man.
THE END
A blog not at all about Jaron. Not Angus.
The Update
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, haven't heard anything from you lately. Everything ok?
Jaron: Yup!
Anonymous: Cool.
The Insult
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, you have atrocious handwriting.
Jaron: Oh yeah? Well you know what you have atrocious? EARS.
The Group
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, how's it goin' with the "So, You Like to Write" group?
Jaron: Some people, like me, don’t have the confidence yet to get up and read their stuff out loud.Jaron: The site is a good way for people like me to have their stuff read by the other members who can tell you what parts of your work are strong and which parts could be a bit better. That feedback is not meant to criticize you, but to help you get better.
The Favorite Movie
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, what's your favorite movie of all time?
Jaron: Anything without a lot of penis in it.
Anonymous: Oh-kaaaaaaay.....
The Overreaction
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, you know why I like you so much?
Jaron: WHAT THE F*CK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!?!?!
Anonymous: Woah.
The push-ups
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, how many push-ups do you think you can do?
Jaron: Hmmmm... Lemme think... ...
... five minutes later...
Jaron: About a hundred and twenty.
The penpal
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, did you have internet when you were a kid?
Jaron: Well, I lived in a swamp, so we didn't have internet. We had to send our messages by alligator, and it sure took a long time! My best friend was an alligator, actually. We're still good friends to this day. I wonder how Nick is doing...
The biceps
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, I named my biceps "Truth" and "Consequences".
Jaron: Why'd you name them?
Anonymous: I didn't. TREANTS RULE!
The Truth
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, how many women have you slept with?
Jaron: I've slept with so many women! YES!
Anonymous: ...
Jaron: None.
The Hills
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, do you watch "The Hills"?
Jaron: No, that show is for stupid-heads and dumb-o's.
Anonymous: Yeah, like, totally.
The Vacation
Anonymous: Hey Jaron...
Anonymous: Hey Jaron.
Anonymous: HEY JARON.
Anonymous: Hey... Jaron?
The Orphan
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, my girlfriend thinks you're adorable and she wants to adopt you
Jaron: Oh boy! Does that mean you'll be my daddy?!?
Anonymous: Yes. I am your daddy.
The Graping
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, why are you so offended by the word "groping"?
Jaron: Because, groping is just one letter off from graping.Anonymous: ...
The Love
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, just tell Scott how you truly feel about him
Jaron: I will... one day...
The Gift
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, whatcha got there?
Jaron: It's a bag of chips! It's probably the greatest gift I've ever received.
The Rachael
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, is that a picture of you in your wallet?
Jaron: Yeah, I totally look like a Rachael. Everyone please call me Rachael from now on.
The BJ
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, YOU SHOULD JUST SMILE AND BLOW ME, BECAUSE I DESERVE IT.
Jaron: OK!
Anonymous: Dude, I was just kidding, don't touch me.
The Grandma
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, what does your grandma smell like?
Jaron: Awesome. She smells like awesome. And Depends, butt, and/or hospital.
The Jeramy Bergerson
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, why are you looking at me that way?
Jaron: You know, if you and I were combined into one super-awesome person - we'd be called "Jamie Fergerson". Neat, huh?
Anonymous: I will murder you in your sleep.
The Story
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, what are you doing for lunch?
Jaron: Well I'm glad you asked! You see, I usually don't have any plans for lunch, but today there's gonna be PIZZA - and I love pizza! On other days, I eat Easy Mac, or crackers, or I might even eat at home! Because my mom brings me all this frozen food, and it's delicious, and I keep it in the freezer at home. And when I get hungries, I go ahead and heat some of that up and have it. That gumbo sure is good! I think just this weekend alone I had gumbo at least 12 times! Isn't that amazing? Speaking of amazing...
*2 hours later*
... and that's about all I have to say about that. What about you, what are you doing for lunch?
The Human Centipede
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, don't joke about AIDS.
Jaron: Yeah, I was just kiddin' fellas. I'm actually all about the ass-to-mouth. HUMAN CENTIPEDE!
The AIDS Part II
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, you don't seriously have AIDS though, right?
Jaron: I'm all about the AIDS.
The Gaga
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, what's your favorite song?
Jaron: Alejandro, by Lady Gaga... why, actually anythin by Lady Gaga. I just go Gaga over Lady Gaga. Gaga.
The reward
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, you've been doing a great job. Here's "Crash of the Titans" as a reward for all your hard work.
Jaron: Wow gee golly whiz, I don't know what to say! This is the happiest day of my life, and I just want to thank my awesome Test Team Coordinator for being so awesome. I would never had made it here today if it weren't for him. He's the best! I also want to thank My mom and dad, God, and my best friend in the whole wide world, Scott. I'm so happy, I could d-
Anonymous: Get back to work.
The AIDS
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, do you have AIDS?
Jaron: AIDS is just one of those things I can't get enough of.
The interview
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, what would you say is your greatest weakness?
Jaron: Well, I guess I'd have to say... I don't eat really good, and I don't work out enough.
Anonymous: You're hired!
The mind asplode
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, you actually said something that I don't disagree with.
Jaron: Well boy howdy that's fantastic news! My mind is exploding!
Anonymouse: Shutup Jaron.
The weekend
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, do me a favor?
Jaron: O boy, sure thing buddy, anything for you! Whatcha need?
Anonymous: Watch your language, this is a workplace. Have some respect for your coworkers.
The thank you
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, I brought you a soda from the break room.
Jaron: T-dubs!
Anonymous: What the fuck did you just say to me?
The Scott
Anonymous: Seriously, for the last time, do not touch my armpits.
Jaron: Well golly, friend, I was just tryin' to be friendly. Ya see, when I was growin up with all my brothers, I got the darndest habit of pokin' armpits - and I guess that's just the way I show someone, that they're my bestest friend in the entire world!
Anonymous: No seriously, don't touch me again.
The boss
Anonymous: Shutup Jaron.
Jaron: You guys sure say some hurtful words, you know. But you know what? I know deep down that each and every one of you is a dear friend. And I'm just gonna keep on bei-
Anonymouse: Shutup Jaron.
The picture
Jaron: Gee whiz! This blog looks fantastic! I'm gonna link it on my facebook so people can see that fancy picture of me!
Anonymous: I got that picture of you from your facebook.
The honey
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, I'll give you 20 dollars to drink this bottle of honey.
Jaron: Gee golly, that sounds like a super idea. I sure could use the money! And I love honey!
The mother
Anonymous: Are you having fun, sweetie?
Jaron: Oh wow, I sure am! I made a new best friend today, his name is SCOTT. He's just swell!
The movie
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, wanna watch a movie?
Jaron: Oh hey fellas, yeah I'd love to! Wait.. what... what is this.. what's goin' on? Oh god... oh my god...
The email
Anonymous: Hey Jaron, could you send an email for me?
Jaron: Why, of course, friend!
Anonymous: Just tell your mom "thanks".
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)